


Bouquet

by fireofgrace



Category: Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Eating Disorders, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:49:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24866350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireofgrace/pseuds/fireofgrace
Summary: If Race had a bouquet of flowers, he would have given them all away by now.*In which Race is a little too self sacrificing, and Jack and Spot try and stop him from pushing it too far.*Inspired by the song Bouquet by Ethan Jewell. It's an awesome song, I reccomend listening to it.
Relationships: Racetrack Higgins & Albert DaSilva, Racetrack Higgins & Jack Kelly, Spot Conlon/Racetrack Higgins
Kudos: 65





	Bouquet

**Author's Note:**

> Eating disorder tw, please be careful reading is things like that effect you. All based on my own experience with eating disorders. It's not outright mentioned, but heavy mention of eating disorder symptoms, and fear of food.
> 
> I'm sleep deprived and have barely proofread it, but enjoy :)

If Race had a bouquet of flowers, he would have given them all away by now. He couldn't help but look after everyone around him. 

Whether it was skipping a meal so one of the younger kids had enough - he wasn't the only who did that after all - or giving his coat up on a cold morning, Race was happy to do it so the kids would be okay. 

He and Jack were very similar, only Race was a little more self sacrificing. 

Sure he often went to bed with an empty stomach, desperate for food, or returned home with blue lips and shaking hands, but what did that matter. 

*

Race was the first one up that morning. Outside with a lit cigar at least twenty minutes before the morning bell went off. His mind was fuzzy, thanks to the lack of food and sleep. 

His mind was too fuzzy to remember how long it had been since he'd last eaten, but he did know he hadn't slept in the same amount of time. 

It was going to be a long day. That's what Race decided, as the boys of the lodgings began to wake. 

A happy buzz filled the air, and Race couldn't help but smile. It made everything worth it when he saw everyone so happy. 

"Mornin' Racer." Jack's voice came from behind him. 

Race turned to face the elder, willing his hands to stop shaking as he dared to remove the cigar from his mouth. 

Jack often said he was too dependent on the cigars, and quite frankly, Race agreed. He needed them to stop his mind from going too fast. Racing if you would. Even when they weren't lit, just having something there calmed his mind, and grounded him.

"Mornin' Jackie," Race smiled weakly. He looked like utter crap, and he knew it. He'd looked at himself this morning and could he looked a breath away from keeling over. 

"Youse is up early, couldn't ya sleep?" Jack asked, leaning himself against the wall of the lodgings as he stifled a yawn. 

None of them really slept enough. Not even the littles, who they forced into bed at eight o'clock. 

"Woke early, wanted a little peace 'fore these lot got up," Race explained lamely, taking another long drag from the cigar. The fuzz of his brain was beginning to fade, giving him more chance of being good for selling. 

Jack nodded, "m'kay Racer, D'you wanna come sellin' wif me t'day?" He was fidgeting with his hands, something Jack always did when he was worried. 

And right now Jack was more worried than ever. Race didn't look well, and Jack hated that he'd let that happen. 

"Nah, I'm good sellin' in Brooklyn, I said I's would go an' see Spot today, ain't seen 'im in a while," Race mumbled he eyelids trying to close. He was dead tired. But catching sight of Romeo and Elmer coming downstairs, he forced them open, he had to be okay for them. 

"Okay, I guess I's will havta force ya to spend time wif me later then," Jack smiled, ruffling Romeo's hair as the kid walked out the door. 

There was a muffled complaint from the kid, followed with a cheeky grin as he ran off round the corner. 

Race was pleased to see the kid full of energy. Romeo was his little brother after all, and they were all too similar. Having seen Romeo so sick a couple days ago, it made Race smile that little bit more. 

"Youse never havta force me to be with ya Jackie, I's will sell wif youse t'morrow if ya want." 

Jack walked forwards and wrapped his arms round Race. "Only if youse wants to Racer," he said, patting the younger lightly on the back. He could feel the younger shaking, and that did nothing but add to his worry. 

"Course I's does." 

*

When breakfast came, Race couldn't stop his stomach from rumbling. He wasn't going to eat though. The thought of food just made him feel sick, which would make it a waste. It was no good wasting it on him when one of the kids could get a little extra into them. 

This morning, his breakfast went to Buttons, who had woken up with a cough the day before.

"Eat up kid," Race said, handing him a biscuit, "we's can't have ya bein' all sick." 

He tried to ignore his shaking hands, or the beating of his heart as he sipped at his coffee. 

"Thanks Racer, I's was really hungry this mornin'," Buttons said, beaming up at Race. He took a bite, then let out a little cough, the cold that was currently working its way around the lodgings, finding its next victim. 

This made the empty pit that was Race's stomach fill with joy. Which was better than food really. Watching the people he cared about smile, made all his pain worth it.

A few seconds later, Albert walked over, holding a biscuit out for Race. 

"I got two, guessed you'd give yours away again," Albert said, fear filling his eyes. 

The two of them were basically twins. They were as close as two people could be, as thick as thieves, always looking out for one another. 

Albert had noticed a while ago the Race wasn't eating properly. Before Jack had done, which really wasn't a surprise. He just didn't know how to say anything. Albert didn't want to upset his best friend, he didn't want to cause an argument, he just wanted Race to be okay. 

"I's 'kay thanks Albie, coffee's good this mornin'," Race said quickly, taking a large gulp of the pretty awful tasting coffee. They'd all grown used to that taste, since it was something that kept them going.

"Well I's ain't gonna eat two," Albery frowned, keeping his arm extended. Jack often told him he was stubborn, but he knew Race was worse. 

"Give it ta one a the twins, they's normally sharin' one," Race suggested, taking his last mouthful of coffee before giving the cup back to the nuns. 

Albert sighed, he'd talk to Jack, see if their leader could get a better result. 

*

While walking over the Brooklyn bridge, Race couldn't deny he felt dizzy. He'd only managed half the sales he'd usually have got by this point in his journey. A result of being quite so delirious. 

He'd make up for it once he reached sheepshead. Race always had been a good seller, it was just a bit easier when he could actually read the headline. 

After a few failed attempts, with his voice deciding to slur, Race sat down, desperate for the fuzz in his brain to leave him alone. 

He wasn't quite sure how long he was sat there, head in his hands, but when he looked up again, Jack was stood in front of him. 

"Is youse followin' me or somefin'." His tone was aggressive, Race was annoyed. He didn't try standing, he knew he couldn't, so Race just glared at Jack waiting for the elder to say something. 

Jack shook his head, "we's is meetin' someone, is youse okay ta stand?" he asked, taking Race's papers and adding them to his own pile. 

With what was entirely stubbornness and stupidity, Race forced himself onto his feet, and pretended he wasn't now clinging to Jack like his life depended on it. 

"You're an idiot Racer," Jack said softly, taking the majority of the younger's weight as they walked the rest of the way over the bridge. 

Race let out a small grunt in response, he didn't feel with it enough to find words.

They reached a small alley in Brooklyn, and Jack stopped, still holding Race up.

Catch," came a voice from the other end of the street. 

Race saw the object flying towards him, but his brain was nowhere near fast enough to catch it. He was just waiting for it to hit his head. 

Jack - using only instinct, the first catch of his life - caught the object, which was a small apple, and handed it to Race. 

"Whachu tryna do Conlon, knock 'im out?" Jack asked, smiling at the Brooklyn leader. 

Spot let out a small laugh, "mornin' Racer, thought we's was meetin' later." 

At that, Race simply hummed. He didn't have the energy to do anything else. Black spots were swarming his vision, and Race didn't think he would be able to stay awake much longer. 

"Race," Jack's voice came from beside him, but it felt a million miles away. 

Everything was going quiet. Even the usual noise of the city felt distant, almost like Race was in a bubble. 

The back dots grew bigger, till they filled his vision and Race collapsed out of Jack's hold, slipping into an endless darkness.

*

When Race opened his eyes again, both Spot and Jack were close to him. He quickly realised he was in the Brooklyn lodgings, having spent many a night there. 

Race didn't try to move, he knew he was too weak to manage that, since he'd pushed it too far this time. 

"Mornin' idiot," Jack said, trying to look grumpy at Race. This wasn't successful, as the fear and worry was far too obvious. 

"'Ow long was I out?" Race asked, voice slurring slightly. 

"Three hours, ya really are an idiot Racer. Why's ain't youse eatin' or sleepin'?" Spot said, standing further away, but looking just as concerned. He folded his arms, leaning against the wall as he waited for Race to reply. 

"The sleepin' ain't my fault. Nightmares 'ave been keepin' me up. I's can't help it sometimes," Race shrugged, curling in on himself. 

Jack sat himself beside Race, brushing the messy blond curls out of the youngers face, "tha's when ya come an' wake me." 

"Jack, youse has the little ones waking ya like three times a night-" Race was cut off. 

"I don' care Racer, ya can't go three days without sleepin' it ain't okay." 

Race gave Jack a little nod. He wanted to pretend everything was okay, and that he was fine. But he wasn't. He was so far from alright. 

"We's gon' have lunch together Race, there's no gettin' out of it," Spot said in a quiet voice, only half clenching his fists. 

"I," Race said, unable to find words for the first time in his life. He looked up at Jack in fear, incapable of describing the terror he was experiencing. 

"Ya gotta eat every day Racer, I knows youse never has breakfast, an' youse always disappearin' at dinner. We's worried about ya," Jack said softly, his hands shuffling anxiously. 

"Youse won't make me have other meals?" 

"Not if it's too much," Jack half smiled. 

"M'kay Spottie, I's will have lunch wif youse," Race said, looking over at Spot as he took in a deep breath. 

Spot nodded in response. He wanted to be close to Race, but he didn't want to get too close with Jack around. So many people knew about their relationship, but it was different being affectionate in front of people. 

"We's got some soup, can ya eat for us Racer?" 

"If ya help me up Jackie," Race responded, his stomach letting out a loud rumble. His hands were shaking, and he was still afraid of eating, but he was with two of his favourite people, so things had to be okay. 

Jack slowly brought Race into a sitting position, getting him to rest his head against the wall in case he got dizzy again. "I's gonna leave ya here with Conlon, an' he's gon' look after ya till youse don't look half dead anymore. Is youse okay wif tha'?" 

Race nodded his head slightly, "'m sure Spottie will take great care of me," he smirked, "you get out sellin' make sure the kids are alright." 

"I'll see ya soon Racer," Jack said, shaking his head fondly. He quickly ruffled the kid's hair, before grabbing all three stacks of papers, and skipping out of the Brooklyn lodgings. 

When Jack was out of sight, Spot unfolded his arms and settled himself beside Race. 

"I-" Race tried but Spot instantly cut him off. 

"No, you gotta stop this shit Race. Stop bein' so bloddy self sacrificin'. Winter's comin' soon, an' I can't lose you," Spot said, his usually aggressive facial expression settling into one of pure care and concern. 

"I love you Spottie, I's don' wanna leave youse, I promise." 

"I love you too Racer." 

*

If Race had a bouquet of flowers, he would have given them all away by now. Luckily, he had some amazing people around him to make sure he always had at least one flower remaining, to keep him going. 

He was going to be okay, he knew that now. All Race had to do, was keep hold of that flower.


End file.
